Author Topic: ..funny stuff that involves you..  (Read 151 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Tango

  • Military
  • Always in the 10 Ring
  • *****
  • Posts: 3258
    • View Profile
..funny stuff that involves you..
« on: September 07, 2019, 05:31:29 PM »
.
(I'm gonna pull an AXXE and post an off-the-wall thread)..

years ago I flew a trip from Houston to San Jose, Kalif - there are 2 parallel runways there, running NW/SE (commercial usually landed on the right rwy)

we landed to the NW and because they were working on many taxiway turn-offs were instructed to roll to the (NW) end, make two right turns and continue SE towards the only entrance/exit that was "open" and would lead to the parking ramp

as we taxied towards that exit a female ground controller told us to "hold short" of the entrance (on the taxiway because a Company plane (one of our was about to taxi to the runway, using that exit

1st Officers make and answer "routine" radio calls while on the ground (so the Captain can put most of his attention to maneuvering the aircraft) so, my 1st Officer replied to the gal's instructions by say "roger, Continental XXX holding short of whatever exit it was designated as"

meantime my 2nd Officer was monitoring our company frequency (yes folks, most commercial aircraft used to have a crew of 3 in the cockpit - DC9s and 737s were the exception) and he heard that our company aircraft, the one that was supposed to leave the gate and taxi for takeoff, was having to hold at the gate for a couple of late arriving passengers.....he relayed that info to me and I asked the 1st to inform the ground controller gal of that situation and request permission to proceed to our gate

the gal controller answered our request with a VERY STERN "I TOLD you to hold short of the exit"- we did (and our little delay cost our company some hefty crew time dollars)

now the gal hadn't heard my voice so I picked up my microphone and said "didn't I USED to be married to you ?".....complete and utter silence

after our company taxied out we eventually taxied to our gate,  - we then had a layover at a San Jose hotel

next day as we sat in our (same) airplane, waiting to continue with a multi-day trip, a company airplane landed and taxied to his gate, parking next to us.....1st one off was the Captain of that flight and he came running over to our aircraft, up our dtairs and into our cockpit (turned out he was the Captain of the aircraft that we had waited for and then went on to San Diego and now back to San Jose)

he said something to the effect "that was the funniest thing I'd ever heard over the radio - we laughed our butts off all the way to San Diego"

good times - hope you enjoyed my story.....
Follow Me - Martin Baker Tie Club member
Si Vis pacem, para Bellum

Offline Tango

  • Military
  • Always in the 10 Ring
  • *****
  • Posts: 3258
    • View Profile
Re: ..funny stuff that involves you..
« Reply #1 on: September 09, 2019, 02:21:35 PM »
.
dang - I thought each here would have at least 1 fun story to tell - I've been involved in a bunch of funny things that have happened thru the years - fortunate, I guess - must be the pits to go thru life without "humor"
Follow Me - Martin Baker Tie Club member
Si Vis pacem, para Bellum

Offline Axxe55

  • Concealed Carry Pro
  • ****
  • Posts: 2179
  • Trophy Husband! Just ask my wife!
    • View Profile
Re: ..funny stuff that involves you..
« Reply #2 on: September 09, 2019, 02:38:49 PM »
Great story Tango.  :th_thicon_idea:

I have quite a few I could share, but too hard to post with this small keyboard.
Misguided Miscreant!
North of Hell, and South of Heaven. Texas, by God!
"It is far better to die on your feet, than to live on your knees."
Remember the Alamo.
NRA Member. TSRA Member.
"I have one nerve left, and it seems there is that one idiot that feels the need to get on it."
"Go ahead, make my day." Dirty Harry. (Carries a 44 Magnum. Nuf said.)

Offline Alte Schule

  • Military
  • Concealed Carry Pro
  • *****
  • Posts: 2688
    • View Profile
Re: ..funny stuff that involves you..
« Reply #3 on: September 09, 2019, 06:10:17 PM »
Ft. Ord 45 years ago. Military Police raise and lower the big flag in front of the headquarters building every morning and evening. In the morning we also fired a blank out of a 105 artillery piece and the HQ Staff Duty NCO would hit the switch for the big sound system to play reveille.

I had that flag raising duty one morning and gave the private the nod to pull the lanyard that fired the 105. Well someone had stuffed about 20 bags of movie popcorn down the tube and it looked like the old Quaker oats commercial. Quite a spectacular show. Although I found it funny the HQ staff did not. While the brass hemmed and hawed about finding out who was responsible it all blew over in a couple of weeks.

A little back story. When the two post theaters and snack bars closed at night we sent a car around and got all the perishable food they were going to throw away. Lot's of popcorn, hot dogs and links. My buddy Don did the pickup that night. Although he denied stuffing the it barrel I knew it was him. We had a tit for tat practical joke contest going on and that one was pretty good.

Every morning at the end of shift I always took my K9 out to the post golf driving range and let him run around. One morning, a couple of months later, I had a great idea. I filled a bucket with red driving range balls and headed to post headquarters. Like a sneak thief I crept up to the cannon and used my baton to stuff a paper bag down the barrel and tossed in about half the contents of the bucket after it. I then took the remaining evidence back to the golf course. Took my dog back to the kennel and was back at my on base quarters at 5:45. My buddy Don had the flag detail that morning.

Now, I swear, I thought those golf balls would go maybe 50 yards but man was I wrong. They went the length of the parade field, across a street with five balls hitting a VW bus and a Fiat parked next to it taking three hits. The remainder hit the side of a barracks wall with no damage. The funny part, if you want to call it that, was nobody noticed at first. It wasn't until 15 minutes later when my buddy and his driver were leaving the HQ building that they were stooped by an irate Major who was complaining about vandalism to his VW. While they were taking that report the owner of the Fiat came out and went, according to my friend, ballistic when he saw his car. This was a Captain with HQ Company Division Artillery. It took him about 30 seconds to figure it all out.

So a big stink was raised but nothing came of it,. They replaced the plastic cap over the barrel with one that locked and Don and I called a truce.


 
« Last Edit: September 09, 2019, 06:59:41 PM by Alte Schule »
This gun is liberty; hold for certain that the day when you no more have it, you will be returned to slavery.
Toussaint Louverture

Offline Tango

  • Military
  • Always in the 10 Ring
  • *****
  • Posts: 3258
    • View Profile
Re: ..funny stuff that involves you..
« Reply #4 on: September 09, 2019, 06:39:31 PM »
.
now see - I knew there were funny stories out there.....
Follow Me - Martin Baker Tie Club member
Si Vis pacem, para Bellum