Author Topic: Stuff you know if....  (Read 2403 times)

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Offline mesinge2

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Stuff you know if....
« on: February 13, 2017, 12:13:23 PM »
I just read this again and it never stops being funny.  :th_thicon_lol:


Stuff you know if you have an AK
Stuff you know if you have an AR
Stuff you know if you have a Mosin Nagant



AK-It works though you have never cleaned it. Ever.
AR-You have $9 per ounce special non-detergent synthetic Teflon infused oil for cleaning.
MN-It was last cleaned in Berlin in 1945.

AK-You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from inside.
AR-You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from 600 meters.
MN-You can hit the farm from two counties over.

AK-Cheap mags are fun to buy.
AR-Cheap mags melt.
MN-What's a mag?

AK-Your safety can be heard from 300 meters away.
AR-You can silently flip off the safety with your finger on the trigger.
MN-What's a safety?

AK-Your rifle comes with a cheap nylon sling.
AR-Your rifle has a 9 point stealth tactical suspension system.
MN-You rifle has dog collars.

AK-Your bayonet makes a good wire cutter.
AR-Your bayonet is actually a pretty good steak knife.
MN-Your bayonet is longer than your leg.

AK-You can put a .30" hole through 12" of oak, if you can hit it.
AR-You can put one hole in a paper target at 100 meters with 30 rounds.
MN-You can knock down everyone else's target with the shock wave of your bullet going downrange.

AK-When out of ammo your rifle will nominally pass as a club.
AR-When out of ammo, your rifle makes a great wiffle bat.
MN-When out of ammo, your rifle makes a supreme war club, pike, boat oar, tent pole, or firewood.

AK-Recoil is manageable, even fun.
AR-What's recoil?
MN-Recoil is often used to relocate shoulders thrown out by the previous shot.

AK-Your sight adjustment goes to "10", and you've never bothered moving it.
AR-Your sight adjustment is incremented in fractions of minute of angle.
MN-Your sight adjustment goes to 12 miles and you've actually tried it.

AK-Your rifle can be used by any two bit nation's most illiterate conscripts to fight elite forces worldwide.
AR-Your rifle is used by elite forces worldwide to fight two bit nations' most illiterate conscripts.
MN-Your rifle has fought against itself and won every time.

AK-Your rifle won some revolutions.
AR-Your rifle won the Cold War.
MN-Your rifle won a pole vault event.

AK-You paid $350.
AR-You paid $900.
MN-You paid $59.95.

AK-You buy cheap ammo by the case.
AR-You lovingly reload precision crafted rounds one by one.
MN-You dig your ammo out of a farmer's field in Ukraine and it works just fine.

AK-You can intimidate your foe with the bayonet mounted.
AR-You foes laugh when you mount your bayonet.
MN-You can bayonet your foe on the other side of the river without leaving the comfort of your hole.

AK-Service life, 50 years.
AR-Service life, 40 years.
MN-Service life, 100 years, and counting.

AK-It's easier to buy a new rifle when you want to change cartridge sizes.
AR-You can change cartridge sizes with the push of a couple of pins and a new upper.
MN-You believe no real man would dare risk the ridicule of his friends by suggesting there is anything but 7.62x54r.

AK-You can repair your rifle with a big hammer and a swift kick.
AR-You can repair your rifle by taking it to a certified gunsmith, it's under warranty!
MN-If your rifle breaks, you buy a new one.

AK-You consider it a badge of honor when you get your handguards burst into flames.
AR-You consider it a badge of honor when you shoot a sub-MOA 5 shot group.
MN-You consider it a badge of honor when you cycle 5 rounds without the aid of a 2x4.

AK-After a long day the range you relax by watching "Red Dawn".
AR-After a long day at the range you relax by watching "Blackhawk Down".
MN-After a long day at the range you relax by visiting the chiropractor.

AK-After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for a stiff shot of Vodka.
AR-After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for hotdogs and apple pie.
MN-After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for shishkabob.

AK-You can accessorize you rifle with a new muzzle brake or a nice stock set.
AR-Your rifle's accessories are eight times more valuable than your rifle.
MN-Your rifle's accessory is a small tin can with a funny lid, but it's buried under an apartment building somewhere in Budapest.

AK-Your rifle's finish is varnish and paint.
AR-Your rifle's finish is Teflon and high tech polymers.
MN-Your rifle's finish is low grade shellac, cosmoline and Olga's toe nails.

AK-Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Mikhail Kalashnikov.
AR-Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Eugene Stoner.
MN-You're not sure there WERE cameras to photograph Sergei Mosin.

AK-Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to hold your rifle over your head and shout "Wolverines!"
AR-Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to clear your house, slicing the pie from room to room.
MN-Late at night, you sometimes have to fight the urge to dig a fighting trench in the the yard to sleep in.

There you have it. In the end, it is clear to any open minded inquirer that the Mosin Nagant is the most superior weapon of all time, but the AR and the AK come out as a draw when compared side by side.
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Offline AKM-47

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Re: Stuff you know if....
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2017, 12:42:53 PM »
I have read it before

Most are true for the Mosin Nagant ....... had a 91/30 rifle, M-38 & M44 carbine at one time





Offline Army 1911

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Re: Stuff you know if....
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2017, 01:36:51 PM »
Does anyone remember the Finnish version of the MN?  The Fins designed their chamber to accept russian ammo but the russion rifles would not work the the Fins ammo.
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Offline DCD327

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Re: Stuff you know if....
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2017, 10:15:03 PM »
I'll take a 1903 Springfield over any of the three.  :th_thicon_idea:

If you never had a 1903,  you wouldnt understand.  :facepalm:
Politicians are like diapers, they should be changed often, and for the same reason.

There are two kinds of people in the world my friend. Those with loaded guns, and those who dig. YOU DIG.  " Blondie".

Well, any man that wouldnt cheat at cards for a poke, dont want one bad enough. " Gus".

Online TXAZ

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Re: Stuff you know if....
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2017, 10:26:33 PM »
I'll take a 1903 Springfield over any of the three.  :th_thicon_idea:

If you never had a 1903,  you wouldnt understand.  :facepalm:
I'll take Boomer at 2000 yards any day vs all 3. :).

Offline satx78247

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Re: Stuff you know if....
« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2017, 10:32:53 PM »
DCD327,

AGREED. - In my opinion, the US Rifle Model of 1917 (the so-called American Enfield in .30-06) or the M1 Garand is superior to either the AK, AR or M-N.
(While I own & sometimes fire a Colt's M16 "circa 1917 clone", it is more often the Danish M1 Garand that I reach for.)

yours, satx
"VICTORY OR DEATH"

William Barret Travis, Lt. Col, comdt.
Fortress of the Alamo, Bejar
Fby 24, 1836

Offline JohnnyDollar

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Re: Stuff you know if....
« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2017, 06:40:24 AM »
I'll take a 1903 Springfield over any of the three.  :th_thicon_idea:

If you never had a 1903,  you wouldnt understand.  :facepalm:
By 1903 Springfield, you mean the American copy of the Mauser 1898?
:)
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Offline DCD327

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Re: Stuff you know if....
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2017, 11:18:54 AM »
I'll take a 1903 Springfield over any of the three.  :th_thicon_idea:

If you never had a 1903,  you wouldnt understand.  :facepalm:
By 1903 Springfield, you mean the American copy of the Mauser 1898?
:)

Kinda.   I meant the IMPROVED version of the 1898 Mauser that Springfield paid Mauser for the rights to build.  :th_thicon_idea:

My 2nd bolt action pick would be the 1898 Mauser.  I have several 98's  in various calibers.

My apologies to the OP. I didnt think a simple comment like that  would derail ur thread.

Which I enjoyed the read BTW.  Pretty good.  :P
Politicians are like diapers, they should be changed often, and for the same reason.

There are two kinds of people in the world my friend. Those with loaded guns, and those who dig. YOU DIG.  " Blondie".

Well, any man that wouldnt cheat at cards for a poke, dont want one bad enough. " Gus".

Offline Ranger99

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Re: Stuff you know if....
« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2017, 11:57:51 AM »
it's still a funny thing to read even if
i can't use a bolt action  :thumbsup1:
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Offline satx78247

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Re: Stuff you know if....
« Reply #9 on: February 18, 2017, 02:11:29 PM »
DCD327,

One of the things that I find "somewhat amusing" is that the US Department of War paid royalties for the 1903 Springfield into Germany throughout WWI.

yours, satx
« Last Edit: February 19, 2017, 09:44:33 PM by satx78247 »
"VICTORY OR DEATH"

William Barret Travis, Lt. Col, comdt.
Fortress of the Alamo, Bejar
Fby 24, 1836

Offline DCD327

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Re: Stuff you know if....
« Reply #10 on: February 18, 2017, 09:55:40 PM »
DCD327,

One of the things that I find "somewhat amusing" is that the US department of War paid royalties for the 1903 Springfield into Germany throughout WWI.

yours, satx

We, and Britain, also traded Germany nickel steel for rifle scopes and optics &  other things. .  :P

We can thank Teddy Roosevelt for the 1903.  He seen what the 7mm mausers they had in Cuba were doing picking off our troopers from long range and directed the arsenal to come up with a better rifle than the 30-40 krag. . Really neat story behind all that. 

In 1903 they came out with the 30 caliber, 1903, thus  was named the 30-03 Springfield. . It shot a 220 grain round nose bullet with a low powder charge. Teddy took one hunting and came back and told the arsenal, that rifle aint worth a damn. It has no range or accuracy.  FIX IT.
By 1905 they change the ammo to a 160 grain spitzer pointed boat tail bullet & turned the powder charge  up.
Teddy took one hunting and loved it.
So in 1906 it was approved and built. .30 caliber, 1906,,  caliber named 30-06 Springfield, but the arsenal rifle designation 1903 Springfield stayed the same.

BTW, In WW1, the Germans nicknames the 1903 "whispering death".  The Marines were picking off Germans from so far away they were not hearing , or barely hearing the shot. They would be standing around big dumb and happy thinking they were safe,  and their buddys head just explodes.
Politicians are like diapers, they should be changed often, and for the same reason.

There are two kinds of people in the world my friend. Those with loaded guns, and those who dig. YOU DIG.  " Blondie".

Well, any man that wouldnt cheat at cards for a poke, dont want one bad enough. " Gus".

Offline JohnnyDollar

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Re: Stuff you know if....
« Reply #11 on: February 19, 2017, 08:12:56 AM »
The U.S. did not pay Germany any royalties for the 1903 during WWI.
The U.S. paid a total of $200,000 to Mauser between November 6, 1905 and July 1909.

From the Springfield Armory Museum:
http://ww2.rediscov.com/spring/VFPCGI.exe?IDCFile=/spring/DETAILS.IDC,SPECIFIC=14177,DATABASE=objects,

Quote
On December 22, 1904, the lawyers gave the U.S. Ordnance Bureau another unhappy Christmas. Mauser, they said, clearly had U.S. Ordnance over a barrel. Since the armory had already gone to the enormous expense of obtaining and setting up the production tooling to make the Springfield '03 rifle, the Ordnance Bureau was hardly in a position to dicker unless it wanted to abandon the enormous sum expended on the Springfield '03 rifle and go in search of another rifle.
The general now had no choice but to walk up to the negotiating table with his hands up and his wallet open. At the next meeting, General Crozier and Frazier reached an agreement. After a review by the comptroller of the Treasury and a few revisions, the agreement was submitted through Frazier to his client, Waffenfabrik Mauser, in Wurttemberg, Germany.
On March 27, 1905, Waffenfabrik Mauser accepted the offer. And the final agreement was ratified by the comptroller on April 5, 1905. The United States agreed to pay Waffenfabrik Mauser 75 cents for each Springfield rifle made. And 50 cents per thousand clips made. All royalty payments would cease after total payments reached U.S. $200,000.
Between November 6, 1905, when the Germans received a Treasury check for $11,367.53, and the July 1909 Treasury check for $8,117.25, the U.S. Armory made nine payments to Waffenfabrik Mauser for the specified total of $200,000.
In Texas, "He needed killin' " is a defense to prosecution.

Offline satx78247

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Re: Stuff you know if....
« Reply #12 on: February 19, 2017, 09:29:18 AM »
JohnnyDollar,

IF you're correct, THE AMERICAN RIFLEMAN magazine is WRONG.

yours, satx
"VICTORY OR DEATH"

William Barret Travis, Lt. Col, comdt.
Fortress of the Alamo, Bejar
Fby 24, 1836

Offline Jeb_66

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Re: Stuff you know if....
« Reply #13 on: February 19, 2017, 09:30:18 PM »
Lol. Some of that is pretty funny.

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